The first and most important ingredient for success is having a powerful, positive mindset. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7) Earl Nightingale said in The Strangest Secret, “We become what we think about all the time.”
Our mindset shows up in the words that we say to ourselves and to others. “I’m afraid…” “What if…” “I can’t…” These statements reflect our beliefs that become the limits of our ability.
If you want to change your outcome, change the statements of belief you say to yourself from negative to positive. Change your “story.”
3 Daily Steps to Change Your Mindset:
2. Journaling Wins and Gratitudes.
3. Visualize the outcome you want.
90% of the key to getting more yeses and more successes in your life is right here. It’s mindset. The reason I know it’s mindset is because I see in the real estate industry, in my coaching, in my training, I’ve seen real estate agents all over the country, all over the world that are highly skilled, they are smart, they’ve got great backgrounds, they’re connected and they don’t succeed.
I’ve seen other people who seem to have nothing going for them. When you look at them, you’re not looking at them going like, “Wow. That person looks successful,” and yet they turn out to be very successful. When you talk to them, you realize, “Man, this person, they believe in themselves. They just have that factor about them. They’re just somebody who makes stuff happen, and they succeed at it.” It’s mindset.
Last week, I did a video on the top ten mindset books, books that I recommend that you read that will help you create a better mindset. I’ll put the link below in the description of this video. Down below this video, I’ll put the link so that you can click on that link and you’ll watch that video on the top ten books to read to help you improve your mindset. One of the books is this book right here by James Allen called As A Man Thinketh, which is taken from the book of Proverbs in the Bible that says, “As a man thinketh, in his heart so is he.”
It just basically says the way that we think defines who we become. It defines how we believe, and so therefore it defines how we act and how we behave. This time of year, especially at the beginning of a new year, I get from real estate agents as they’re talking about starting the new year and achieving their goals this year, one of the things that happens is I tend to get a lot of emails and comments on videos and so forth from agents who are going like, “I’m so frustrated because it seems that every year I go through the same thing. I set goals, and I don’t reach them. I’m frustrated. I’m afraid. I’m afraid I can’t repeat what I did last year. I had a great year, and I’m afraid this year it’s not going work for me.”
So maybe you felt that. It was just like, “Okay, so I’m struggling because I’m trying and I’m trying, and nothing seems to work for me, and my brain goes … I say this. I always do it this way,” and these are the kind of phrases that come out of our head when our mindset isn’t right. “I am afraid this isn’t going to work for me. I’m afraid I’m going to fail. I’m afraid of this, I’m afraid of that,” and our fear becomes our reality. Or what if, and most of our fears, by the way, are not statements that are based on anything of … They’re not reality.
They are an expectation of possible disaster or possible things going wrong, so it’s that concept that we talk about, FEAR, F-E-A-R, False Evidence Appearing Real, that it’s the perception that what if something happens? What if something goes wrong? What if this happens? What if that happens? It’s always an expectation of things not going right. I always say I’m going to do something, and I don’t do it. I always make a goal, and then I don’t achieve it. I can’t do what other people can do. Everybody else does this, but I can’t do that, or I’m not that way. I’m not smart. I’m not disciplined. I’m not, whatever. I can’t seem to break through.
So we have these phrases that come out of our head, or these statements that basically are a reflection of a mindset. Here’s the reality, is the set of your mind is going to determine the course of your life because our mind steers our behavior. It steers the direction our life takes, and so if our thoughts say, “Okay. I believe this,” then we’re going to live into that. So the secret here is, how do I create a stronger mindset? How do I create a more powerful, positive mindset that will help me break through, that will help me achieve my goals, that will help me have success, and so forth?
So here’s what you do. If you don’t like what you’re believing, if you don’t like your mindset, if you’re struggling with a lack of confidence, if you’re struggling with fear, if you’re struggling with procrastination, if you’re struggling with anger or guilt, all of those come back to mindset. They’re very much a part of the way we think, the way we feel. When we talk about mindset, it’s also a lot of our emotions, and all of that comes together in this massively powerful pull that sets the course of our life.
If you want to change your outcome, if you want to change the results you’re getting, you’ve got to change the way that you think. The way I couch it is, this right here, when we make these kind of statements, what we’re doing is we’re creating a story of how we believe our life is going to go, and then we live into that story. “Yeah. Well, I just, I know I’m not going to do that because I’m not smart enough. I know that’s not going to happen for me because I’m not good with people, or I’m not outgoing, or I’m not eloquent, or I’m not a good speaker. I’m not a good communicator, or I’m not a good salesperson. I’m not,” blah, blah, blah, blah.
All these things that come out of us, and that becomes our story, and we create a story and say, “This is how I am, and this is the way it goes for me.” Then we live into that belief, we live into that thought. We think this way, and we live into it. I’m going to give you another quote from the book, one of my top ten books on mindset, is this little bitty book by Earl Nightingale called The Strangest Secret. By the way, long before this secret came out, this book was written back in the early 1900s, The Strangest Secret, and here is in one sentence the strangest secret.
He says, “The strangest secret: We become what we think about. We become what we think about.” I’m afraid. Well, what am I thinking about? I’m thinking about my fears, and I’m thinking about things happening the way I don’t want them to happen. So guess what? We become that. We live into that, so we create our story and then we live into a story of what we don’t want. So what do you do? Change what you think about. Change what you focus on. Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, which is all this, focus on what you do want. To put it simply is, if you want to change your outcome, you want to change your result, change your mindset.
Here’s how you change it, is you change your story. You want a new outcome, you want a new ending to your story? You change the story. You rewrite the story. The way you rewrite the story is by rewriting your beliefs about yourself and about life and about the world and about the universe. Change the way you believe because our mindset is simply a collection of our beliefs and attitudes and expectations about the way things are. Well, change your mindset, you change your results. You become what you think about, or as was said in the secret, “Thoughts become things.”
Our mindset leads to our results every single time, so you’ve got to change your story. Now, I want to just give you really quickly three very powerful strategies for changing your story, for changing what you say to yourself and what you say to others about who you are, how you are and what life is going to bring for you. Number one, change your story by creating a new set of declarations, daily declarations. What a declaration is, is instead of going like, “I’m afraid to talk to people,” say, you change it to a powerful positive declaration of what I want, not what I don’t want.
“I am a great communicator. I easily and confidently talk to people.” I just made a declaration of, “I am totally confident.” What a powerful declaration. Now you go like, “I don’t feel totally confident.” Right, so you’ve got to change your story. Instead of saying, “I don’t feel confident. I’m not confident. I struggle with that,” well, stop struggling. Change the story. The way you change the story is you change the words that come out of your mouth, you change the words that come into your head. So when you hear that thought that goes like, “I’m just, I’m scared. I’m nervous. I’m not confident around people,” then you go like … Just delete, delete. As Jack Canfield says, “Delete, delete.” Delete that thought and replace it with, “I am totally confident. I am totally confident. I am great in my conversations with people.”
You declare in the first person, present tense, “I am this. I …” whatever. “I am absolutely, totally confident. I have great confidence. I am totally confident.” Declare what you want. So daily declarations. “I am infinitely powerful. I am totally confident.” Whenever you make those kind of statements, and the reason we call it a declaration is a declaration is something that is stated with conviction, force, emotion, intensity and passion. When you state it, you’ve got to do it with that. So number one is declarations.
Number two, if you want to change your story is to use a journal, to start writing down every day the story that you want, and that writing down of it, that putting it into action will change your mindset. Now, I do two things every day in my journal. I write down things I’m grateful for, and wins that I have had that day. I call them my gratitudes and my victories. Today, I write down, every day, and I do five of each every single day, five gratitudes and five wins. Now, what’s a gratitude? It’s something I’m grateful for.
When I say, “I’m grateful for this,” what it reminds my mindset of, it reminds me mentally of, is I have great stuff in my life. I’m blessed, I have abundance, I’ve got all this awesome stuff. I’m grateful for my sight, for my health, for my wife, for my home, for my coaching members, for my country. I’m grateful for all this. Every time I focus on what I’m grateful for, it literally makes my story go like, “Wow. This guy has it great,” because you know what I’m talking about. You know how it goes where you look at … Somebody goes, “How’s your day going?” “Oh, it’s been a horrible day.” “Well, what’s been horrible about it?” “Well, I had this client that got mad at me.”
“Okay, so you had a client get mad at you, and how long did that last?” “Well, I don’t know. He texted me and then I just dreaded it all day. Finally, I called him and we talked for ten minutes. We worked it out, but man it was just a horrible day because he’s mad at me.” So one client made your whole 24 hour day horrible? See, here’s to me would be a horrible day. I woke up and I couldn’t see, and I couldn’t move, and my house was on fire, and I got a note that my wife had left me. That would be a horrible day.
You see, we’ve got one little thing to happen and we generalize or we universalize this one little event, one little moment in our day and we go, “I had a horrible day because this happened,” or maybe two or three things happened, but think about all the great things going on in your life. Every time you journal about things you’re grateful for, it makes you focus on the things that you have in your life that are great. What that simply does is it turns our attitude away from focusing on the things that are going bad to the things that are going great. When we focus on the things that are going great, guess what? You become what you think about. You attract into your life what you focus on.
So we focus on the good things, we’re going to get more good things. Focus on the bad things, we’re going to get more bad things. Law of attraction, it is a very powerful law because it’s not just the thought but it’s that our behavior lives into that thought, so we create this story of, “Oh woe is me,” and we live into that story of attracting all kinds of stuff we don’t want. Every time something negative happens, it’s confirmation. We go, “See. Told ya!” So now we’re looking. Our subconscious goes like, “Okay. Well, Kevin wants more crap in his life because every time a crap comes, he just celebrates it by going, ‘See. I knew it. That’s just the way …'” And I knew it, and the subconscious mind goes like, “Okay. Well, if he knows it, then that must be the way things are so we need to make sure we bring more crap into his life.”
Focus on negative, you’re going to get more negative. Focus on the crap, you’re going to get more crap. Focus on the abundance, focus on the blessings, you’re going to get more of that. So journaling is a great way to focus on the gratitudes, and then focus on my victories, the wins, which are the things that I did today that were great, like, “Hey, I’m a pretty good person,” because now you change your story about who you are. “Well, I’m not this way, or I’m this way. I’m a procrastinator,” so what about writing down the things that you took action on today, and journal those out.
What it does is as you write them down, your subconscious brain goes, “Hm, that was a good thing,” and so your brain focuses, your mindset focuses on what you’ve accomplished, which makes your subconscious go, “Okay. We need more of that.” You’ve now rewritten your story. “Man, today was an awesome day because I did this, I did this, I did this, and I did this.” They don’t have to be big things. They just have to be good things, things that you did that would be considered a win for you today, because you could’ve gone a different direction and done something unproductive.
You could’ve done something dishonest, you could’ve done something that was a waste of time, and this was actually a good use of your time. “I played with my dog for ten minutes.” Now, would that be a win? Of course, because you did something good for another creature in the universe, and you loved them. “I was loving.” You could’ve been mean to your dog. You could’ve been nasty and kicked the dog because you had a bad day at work, but you didn’t. You loved your dog. It’s a win. When you focus on the things great that you’re doing, it improves the mindset. So, so important.
Declarations, you want to journal. I forgot the last thing. What was the last … Oh, the last thing is visualize. Visualize, and this has been proven over and over again in studies with people in their performance. People want a … If you want a better result, visualize a better result in the things that you’re doing and the things that you want before you do it. What a visualization is, is it’s literally, I’m going like, “Okay. I’m going to go meet with this client, and I want to get this contract signed. I want to get this listing with this seller.” Visualize going [inaudible 00:14:42] presentation, and just visualize them nodding saying, “Yes, absolutely.” They’re going like, “Yep. Where do we sign? What do we need to do?”
You visualize the outcome that you want and you’re more likely to get the outcome that you want. They have proven this with people that … In performance athletics, they had people visualize they are playing a round of golf, and that’s all they did for two weeks. They visualized themselves shooting the perfect round of golf. Then they went out, and after two weeks, no golf, they didn’t play any golf, they just visualized it every day, and then they went out and their scores went down dramatically, which in golf means their scores got better, dramatically better just because they visualized a better result.
They’ve done dozens of studies like that in all different kinds of fields that when you visualize something going the way you want, it’s more likely to go the way you want. All you’re doing with this really is you’ve already been visualizing. People go, “I’m not good at visualizing.” Well, anytime you say, “Well, what if I do this and they say that,” you’ve already visualized them saying what you don’t want to say. So when you say, “I always say I’m going to do something and I don’t do it,” well, you’re just visualizing yourself making a commitment and then not keeping it.
You’re already visualizing. Just here, you’re visualizing what you don’t want. You’re writing a story, you’re creating a movie of your future in advance of failure. You don’t want it, you don’t want failure, so create the movie in advance of success, of victory, of winning, of people saying yes to you. To me, that is the essence of where mastery starts with being a yes master, of helping people say yes to you, is if you believe and accept, expect from the beginning that, “They’re going to say yes to me because they want to say yes to me, because I’m going to help them. I’m going to be the best agent for them,” that when we believe and visualize them saying yes to us because it’s the best for them and it’s the best for us when we believe it and visualize it, we’re going to pull that toward us.
That, my friend, is the power of mindset. These are simple, but powerful, actions that if you do them consistently day in and day out as a part of your day, they become a new habit of thinking that will give you a new outcome over and over and over and over again. Build your mindset. Go back and watch the video on the top ten books. Get those books. Get one of them, at least start reading those books every day. Start putting good stuff into your brain to feed your mindset. That could easily be a fourth one I could add here is just reading, putting good stuff into your head.
Nutrients, super food for your brain is reading great stuff, watching great videos like this. If this video has helped you, make sure you give it a thumbs up. Comment down below, share this with people that you know that they’re stuck in that negative world, and help them get out of it. Share this video with them. Play to win, always expect, “Yes,” and remember, your responsibility is to be the best.